having

I fear that many people seek to hear from God solely as a device for securing their own safety, comfort, and righteousness. For those who busy themselves to know the will of God, however, it is still true that "those who want to save their life will lose it?" My extreme preoccupation with knowing God's will for me may only indicate, contrary to what is often thought, that I am over concerned with myself, not a Christlike interest in the well being of others or in the glory of God. - Willard

Started a new book, Hearing God, by Dallas Willard. This nugget was in there and, like he often does, caught me off guard.

Is it me he is speaking about?
Why am I doing this?

This is a thought that frees, however it leaves us wanting.
What action do I now take? What thing applied to my daily life will help me? Perhaps that's the point - we apply finite to the infinite vs. apply the infinite to the finite.
Perhaps the same action results, however the heart is proned in completely two different directions.