human condition

There is this "something" (a need) that we constantly seek. The something recognized usually possesses all three characteristics from my perspective;
a) the need recognition does not always come in the same form or fashion (lonely, jealous, tired, waiting for something different, desire to be loved, etc)
b) it fails to ever be completely met (The need I had was met, yet I am still left wanting. Or if the need was met I am still left wanting in another category, that did not exist prior. Defined:I am lonely but I now I have someone, yet I still need something. I am still lonely or come to find out it was something completely different.)
c) it fails to be completely defined, aka there is this unrest at the soul level and I cant possibly put words to.

Many of my conversations this week have had this similar trait to them, lots of us (me in the middle) are suffering from disappointment. Disappointment to a variety of degrees - however disappointment none the less. There are redemptive aspects to our disappointment however - the fact that we long for a condition that is not met completely is a divine message I believe. On this side of life (meaning, life never ends - I believe in the infinite therefore there are just different stages of life) my need will never fully be realized or met, however I have been given a enough taste of the heavens to know that I am not yet home.

slc ....who knew

turns out Salt Lake City does have a cool vibe, I thought it may have been a little dry (no pun intended). I had good beer, met great people, and totally bombed a sales pitch....so it was a mixed visit. off to atlanta in a few minutes and then to nashville. i have never been to nash. so i am looking forward to good times.

the sampler made the choice an easy one, the Hefeweizen.

vegas

I am leaving Vegas in a few minutes., I have been on the road 8 days and have 6 more to go..good times with my best friend from 1st grade.

airplane moment

Every time I ride an airplane I have this random, yet recurring, moment when I visit the bathroom (not that kind of moment). I look in the little mirror as i wash my hands and all of a sudden it hits me -
"I am freaking flying"
"I am thousands of feet in the air, flying - flying"
And I begin to sorda get this childish grin to even think how nuts that is...the sheer thought of it blows me away. Can you imagine a few hundred years ago a few friends chatting outside their abodes, or in the horse n buggy, or whatever and one of them blurts out - "One day humans will be able to fly" - what lunacy the other friends must have thought. How in the H is anyone going to fly, get real. Granted people can't fly in of themselves, however due to this whole plane thing it is made possible.

A few days after my airplane moment I am sitting in a pretty random, eclectic - cool church in downtown LA held at the Wilshire theater instead of at a typical building. all kinds of people around, Benz's and Buicks, old and young, 5 plastic surgeries or more and people who prob never look in the mirror, black, asian, hispanic and whites....all worshiping together. And then it hits me -
"We are freaking children of God"
Just like the airplane moment, it's this known that I just over look and forget the craziness of it all.This is even crazier than flying though, "a child of God" - how nuts is that? Just try saying it to yourself and if it doesn't make you sorda feel insane, or blush, or shout or flat out shut your mouth then somethings up.
Granted people are not children of God in of themselves, however due to this whole Christ thing it is made possible.

last nights sleep just like the day before

go to sleep eager to wake so I can right the day past

only to find my notions fleeting and failing.
yet again a day past.

wake again, only to find my notions fleeting and failing.
nothing different, I am.

all selfish, all just ambition.
yet again, i do not fleet or fail.

work late

its the right night to have to work supa' late....Radio Head's new album came out -In Rainbows -
name your price.

much as of late

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered. _GK Chesterton

My my, what a hindrance my mindset poses to my hands at work. I long to be satisfied not by my work but why I work. i get the equation mixed up daily and wonder why futility lurks around the next corner. contempt lay and wait to pounce, forgetting that I laid the trap. I walk blindly into troubled waters only to find I am stirring the ocean that my own soul drowns in.