suicide

I read the news of a suicide and it was not fun to read. not fun to think about. not fun to blog about. However, though I am sure this man was nice and did honorable things - at the core, it still seemed to not be enough.

Though this sounds trite, and hard, and not sensitive - but I would follow in his footsteps if it was not for something More.
Everyman must deal with the fact that something does indeed exist.

Click Here
and
Here - to read a discussion board thread about it

while having a black & tan at the Harp

I sit here and watch the clock, grow anxious, wanting to get on to the next thing.
Only, to get to the next thing means waiting once again for the next thing.
The ability to think within the moment, within that certain interaction, is the ability to enjoy life. Anxiousness and tomorrow have much in common.

no different

my known need is not different from yours, we fancy filling them in different forms and fashions - however the basis remains the same. from my own felt need I have been given the ability to treat your need.

other
I have a new goal, to make my close friends feel awkward at least 2 times a day. this is done through;
-touching a confident male softly on the back of arm and rubbing it slowly
-telling him anything in a whisper, such as; "chinese food", "wanna play (pause) tennis", "how bout those braves".
-clapping and cheering when they achieve something like;opening a car door, receiving their food at a restaurant, after completing a flight of stairs, etc (in public of course)
-not breaking eye contact for at least 60 seconds
-call them "sweetie" or "darling" - works on both sexes

however

however i act you are still unchanging. for the basis of truth shall not depend on the actions of the finite. for my infinitude depends on yours; not on my actions or my god complex.

for my joy wholly resides apart from me, however due to grace - within. for this gives a stable basis for a life that seems to waver consistently on peripherals and on the pillars.