ponder

you can't always explain it;
the room seems quieter than usual. things move slower and you even have time to stop and ponder in between events. people's words stand out, everything is more sensitive. your walls seem thinner, your mask stays on the shelf.

Then something happens, you turn it all off, put the walls up, and go about your merry way. Perhaps that something is sleep, the TV, your checkbook, work - either way, when found in these positions, find the streams and soak it up. roll in the green pastures and stain your clothes. Burn the memory in, for the path to get back to that place will soon seem daunting when those same walls cave in.

the lush country side can be found around every corner and in a variety of nooks - you can't get there alone, you must have a friend lead you to such places.

flight delay ....

lets see how many diuretics i can drink in the crown room before my flight.
2 coffees
1 killians
1 rum and coke
1 diet coke
counting......

walk run crawl crawl walk run crawl

That's about the pattern of my "walk" right now - if you understand Christian-ese you know that "walk" means my relationship with God, or rather the recent happenings. This can be weighted by time in the word, affections towards him, time in prayer, feeding the homeless, etc, etc.

Am I fooling myself with these different paces or a category for how my walk is doing?

Let's suppose crawling equals .4mph, walk .9, and run 1.3 - am I fooling myself with thinking that at any given point my "walk" actually equals .4 because I am not doing XY & two times a day doing Z? Or that I am running well at 1.4mph because I did Z three times and Y & Z twice?

Is it not the stage where you crawl that then allows you to break into a "sprint" (1.9mph)?

Grace, being the free agent that it is, can cause a paraplegic to dance and allow a walk to break into a sprint at any given point. I tend to think that my walk is doing as good as I am doing. While this may not align with Joel O, that is thinking far too great of myself and my doings. If I were to be sprinting at 1.9mph, it can not be for any reason except the free agent that both rests and burns within my soul.

Therefore my walk, your walk, is not based on XY & Z, however it's based on A - the point at which you could move your limbs, the moment you became alive. What's the difference between 0mph and 1mph? 1 mile an hour right? Sure - but philosophically speaking one does not move at 0mph, therefore it is all the difference in the world to be moving. You can not say how many times faster is 1mph than 0mph. It's infinitely faster, therefore immeasurable. How many times faster is 2mph than 1mph - 2 times faster. Therefore it is measurable. When it is measurable it is no longer holy, or grace filled, or note worthy. It is the infinite that should be praised, not the measure of movement, but movement.

I am not saying XY & Z are not important - just saying that if you based your "walk" on those things you are SOL.

thoughts getting ready for july 22

lame

I am a lame blogger.